The Journey Back

Embracing Grace

Posted on June 14, 2013 Updated on June 14, 2013

I’m not sure how to even start explaining this evening.  The group that came out to the talk about losing a child was small – probably around 20, although it never occurred to me to count.  We think there were six children represented.  One mother lost her son at the age of 27, another a daughter at the age of 24.  I think the other four were infants.  The television reporter that interviewed me before we started asked if I was looking for there to be a large crowd.  I said that I honestly hoped there would not be.  A large crowd would mean a lot of grieving mothers and fathers, a lot of missed children.  I spent some time in the last few days praying that God would bring those who needed to be there, so I trust that this was the perfect amount of people.  There was a small amount of sharing that I’m not sure would have happened in a larger group.

At first, I wasn’t sure how to read the reaction.  I almost felt as if people were bored.  Listening through translation is hard because it just slows everything way down.  But as I got into the telling of our story, I saw eyes filling with tears and heads nodding in understanding.   Sweet Iwona gave me strength as I made eye contact with her and knew she was praying me through this.

Women came up and wrote the names of their children on flowers and placed them in the vase with the one for Grace.  The tears and long embraces with these grieving moms needed no interpretation.  I talked with others who told me about their friends who lost babies and one who told me about siblings she didn’t know she should have had until relatively recently.  The evening was very emotional.  Though there were many tears of sadness, I feel as if tonight I was in the center of God’s will for me.  It feels good to be in that place, no matter how hard it is.   I pray with all my being that those who were there really heard whatever God was wanting to speak to their hearts.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude for all the prayers that were offered to support me through this.  I am especially grateful for the amazing husband God has blessed me with.  Before the evening started, Ben prayed over me.  His words melted my heart and brought God’s peace over me in a way I’ll never forget.  As I stood at the podium and waited while Andrzej gave the introduction, I just knew that there were people, literally all over the world, praying for this time.   I don’t talk about things in this way often, but I truly felt your prayers.  It wasn’t until later that I learned that Ben had posted a message to Facebook as the event stated.  Many replied that  they were praying right at that moment.  Thank you, Body of Christ, for lifting me up today.