God Is Cool

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So… we received an e-mail from Dave this week giving us his estimate of our expenses for this mission trip, which includes getting us where we need to be, lodging, and the cost of the actual things we’ll be doing while we’re there (projects, places we’ll go with the campers, etc.)  It isn’t too far off from what I had estimated myself, but it was more.  My previous estimate was already pretty overwhelming, so I found myself feeling a little discouraged that morning.  I just really hate the fund-raising aspect.  I hate asking people for money, I hate the feeling that I get that some people think we’re trying to get them to pay for some sort of family vacation, I hate everything about it.  I know I should view it as giving people an opportunity to contribute to world missions when they are not able to travel themselves, but that’s not really how it feels.

So, I sent a text to two of my prayer friends just asking them to pray that God will provide, and that I will not allow myself to doubt or question that.  I know in my mind and believe that He will (because this is His plan), but today I’m feeling weak.   Here’s the cool part… are you ready for it?  Later the same day, I get a call from Ben who has just found out that his stipend for coaching baseball hasn’t been added to his paychecks yet, meaning there will be a lump sum addition to his next check.  Now, I’m thinking that this news could have come weeks ago or at the end of the year.  But it didn’t.  It came today, when I read the update on our expenses and was feeling a little overwhelmed at the task of saving/raising that much money.  It came today, when I humbled myself enough to admit that I was struggling and asked my friends to pray.  I know there are some who would say that is just a coincidence, but I find that a little far-fetched.

There’s still a long way to go, but my faith is feeling stronger.  Thanks for praying, friends.  Thank you, God, for showing me how much you have this under control, even though you shouldn’t have to prove yourself to me.  I’m hearing the “Oh you of little faith” message loud and clear.

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